The Light Beyond Bereavement Forum Bereavement StoreMovieBlogSympathy Ecards
Kindness in another's trouble, courage in your own...

Go Back   The Light Beyond Bereavement Forums > Coping with grief > Grief recovery
Register FAQ Members List Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old November 12th, 2012, 18:51
hazelharris hazelharris is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 1,144
Default thanks to my friends my ordeal is over

i want to thank all my friends on here who have helped in giving me the courage to carry on over these past months every one of you believed in me and understood all the hell Darrens family were putting me through i had 148 letters and cards from friends who new us and found out what his family were doing encouraging me to battle on and beat them stating we were the most loving couple they knew and were disgusted with his family Darrens brother who he only spoke a couple of times to in 20 yrs didn't even ring him or come to see him in his 2 year battle with cancer i rang him at the beginning but he didn't bother but as you know 20 mins after he died he was there and said i was nothing the worst of it all he reported me to the police told them Darren didn't love me and all money gone out of the account in the past 2 years was me darren was well enough to do his own finances right up until 2 weeks before he died the interrigation by 2 fraud squad investigators is something i will never forget saying darren didn't love me for over an hour everyone here who has lost someone can imagine how it threw me over the edge of despair the police should have checked before i had to go through such an ordeal they did this to me all for money
i said i would come on here and let you know the outcome when it was over they tried to steal everything from me my home business caravan and belongings with all our money i fought them all the way in the finish they had most of our money and they gave up the battle for everything else as it was in my name so it's over money means nothing we all here know that too well it's people and love that counts most in life i never felt hate for anyone in my whole life before and i've been through a lot it's an awful feeling i said to a friend revenge or let it go he said let it go (now) and i did immediately i have the memories his love will always be in my heart i spent 25 years exsisting just to make him happy they will never know or feel such a love as we had because people like them have hearts of stone their love is money
i can't change the past and my only regret is we didn't get married i only hope my story will be told to others who may be in the same position as i was so they understand this could happen to them as i wouldn't wish anyone to go through this
thankyou all my friends hazelxx
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old November 12th, 2012, 19:41
sdk sdk is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: goshen, new york
Posts: 161
Smile

Hazel,
I am so happy that your ordeal is over and you can now concentrate on yourself. It is amazing how we are always saying how important family is to our lives, but at the same time they can be so cruel. Jims sister is no better then Darrens family. I called her everyday for 2 months to let her know how he was doing and called her the friday we decided to take him off life support. I then called her about 5 minutes after he passed and awhile later to tell her when the funeral was. I purposedly made it later in the day so she could get there. She lives 4 hours away. She never came and I have't heard from her since. At first it bothred me and then I was angry. Then I decided not to waste my time or energy on her and have not thought about her since. Well, except I left off his footstone the fact that he was someones brother. Oh Well !!!!

Love and Hugs,

Sheryl
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old November 13th, 2012, 04:24
hazelharris hazelharris is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 1,144
Default

hi sheryl thank you for your reply i think a lot of us have someone in their family who we expect to be there for us or to change their ways and be more compassionate due to the situation but they let us down not only us they let themselves down their hearts are empty and will remain so as every time we suffer not just for ourselves when we can reach out to others in their need and heartache and be there for them we are filling our own hearts with more love in some ways we must pity them as i would hate to be like that no love for others no morals it's not a nice way to live
i have never been like that thank goodness in a way i'm too independant this all happened to me becauses i didn't realise such greed and cruelty exsisted if they had said we are desperate for money i would have given as it's the way i am i never lend i give and if i ever get any thing back it's a bonus all this was unthinkable i am wasting no more time on being hurt like you sheryl we will leave them go to live their sad lives
how are you today we were all here thinking of jims year passing and i hope you felt comforted to know our thoughts were with you we are always here for you on pm if you need us is new york getting back to normal i know it was a lot worse than the pictures implied i'm grateful you were spared the devistation and feel sadness for all those affected
love hazelxx
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old November 13th, 2012, 07:25
tom-fisherman tom-fisherman is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Northwest England
Posts: 534
Default

Shalom in Yeshua Hazel, I am delighted with your news and I am glad that its all over and that you have decided to let it go. There are 'no pockets in a shroud' so pray for those selfish people to realise the errors.

You are doing the right things in life. Proud of you my sister!!
May God bless you
Tom x
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old November 13th, 2012, 10:46
cal821 cal821 is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 477
Default now some peace will come to your life

Hazel... I'm glad to hear that this trouble with the vultures has come to an end.. I'm very proud of you that you stuck to your guns and didn't flinch even with the humilating accusations and trouble they put you through.. Please know your a stronger person now and have faced the onslaught of adversity and misery brought on by these people..

Try to let the pain and misery they caused you go.. you can forgive them but it doesn't mean you have to forget about things.. Don't you worry .. things have a way of coming around for these vultures.. and in time the universe will send them a little surprise or two.. Karma is A B**** and will settle the scales one way or a another in time..

Best to just release and move forward now..

But again I'm very proud of you as I'm quite sure Darren is as well.. For your strength and fortitude to fight for what you have..

Cal821 ( DAVE )
__________________
Memory can only tell us what we were,
in the company of those we loved;
it cannot help us find what each of us, alone, must now become.
Yet no person is really alone;
those who live no more echo still within our thoughts and words,
and what they did has become woven into what we are.

I wish you peace and a level path on your journey...

Cal821

Last edited by cal821 : November 13th, 2012 at 16:12.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old November 20th, 2012, 18:03
Lottie Lottie is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 13
Default Brave

Hazel, I didn't know you were going through all that as well. There really are some cruel people out there. Your bravery is amazing and i'm so glad you've come through the ordeal. As you said, we all know what is really important in life and i'm sure our lives will be much more fulfilled because of that. Welldone, i'm sure Darren is so proud of you x
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old November 25th, 2012, 14:14
Chaka Chaka is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 46
Default

Wow........so familiar to me. I, too, wish that David and I had gotten married sooner. We were together 3 1/2 years and when we decided to get married, we set the date for 6/21/14. Then the accident happened. He had a sister, C, who had not had anything to do with him in four years. The day of the accident, the very FIRST time I had ever met her, she said to me, in the hospital, with ten people standing around, finger pointed toward me, "You are NOT a permanent fixture in David's life!!!"

It went downhill from there -- including burying him against my and his wishes, doing a Catholic funeral which he would have abhored, and telling anybody who would listen that I was "stealing from his daughters." David made me a beneficiary on his life insurance -- me and his three daughters.

Like you, Hazel, I have never been one for hate and revenge. However, I can think of no other words to describe how I feel about David's sister.

I am glad your ordeal is over. I agree with you -- they may have Darren's money, but that is all. They don't have the 25 years of love and they cannot take that away.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old November 25th, 2012, 14:16
Chaka Chaka is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 46
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by sdk View Post
Well, except I left off his footstone the fact that he was someones brother. Oh Well !!!!
GOOD for you, Sheryl!!!! This made me laugh out loud!!!! Oh, how I wish I could have been in a position to make decisions like that when David died!!
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old November 25th, 2012, 14:37
hazelharris hazelharris is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 1,144
Default

hi chakka thanks for your message and if you have been through similar to me my heart goes out to you as i wouldn't wish that hell on anyone i have been through a lot in my life but nothing like these years and the dreadful grief losing darren and as i was on the floor in this hell for them to treat me like that was something that threw me over the edge of despair i leave justice to God to dish out i hope you have been able to lay down the anger like me and say they will hurt me no more it's the only way forward
love hazelxx
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old November 25th, 2012, 20:48
sdk sdk is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: goshen, new york
Posts: 161
Default

Chakka,

I am not a mean person, but have decided to close the book on some of myanger over the past 10 months. Jim had a groups of friends that he knew for over 40 years. I have not heard from them since Jim died so I finally wrote them a letter to tell them what I thought of all of them. I basically said that in reality they were really not his friends and the last line I said that they should not think for a moment that their actions or lack of actons has not deeply hurt Jim as well. If I never hear from them again I couldn't care less. It felt good to put closure on my anger.

Sheryl
Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 05:55.


Copyright 2017 The Light Beyond. Visit the main site at www.thelightbeyond.com