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Old June 13th, 2014, 01:27
Coopergirl1803 Coopergirl1803 is offline
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Default Dealing with the inner feelings

Hi all,

Some of you may have read my previous post, however if not heres a little about my story.

My mum passed away almost a year ago now, she was only 42 and she was perfectly healthy until one day she just collapsed and died of a brain aneurysm.

Recently I have noticed that I am a lot less able to handle how I feel about it, I am stressed out all of the time, angry, sad and confused.
I tried seeing a counsellor but I found that didn't help me as I thought it would and I seem to be dealing with this all on my own. All my other family members seem to use me as a sounding board for all of their problems and not one of them seems interested in helping me, I know they probs do want to help but either don't know how to or just don't see the trouble im in at the moment.
Either way its hard to deal with my own issues as well as everyone elses. My boyfriend has lost his entire family but he also believes that I should have dealt with it by now and if I haven't then I should talk to a counsellor not him or my family members.
Some times I just want to let go to someone who understands what im dealing with and I want someone who just wants to help me. Selfish I know.

Does any of this make sense?
Has anyone else had any similar issues and if so how did you cope with it?

Thanks for reading.
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  #2  
Old June 14th, 2014, 02:47
hazelharris hazelharris is offline
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hi i'm so sorry for your loss and please don't think that on here we don't care as no one has replied i was away yesterday and this morning i am late for an appointment i will message you later i send you a hug in the meantime you are not alone in your despair we care and understand the awful pain at losing a loved one love hazel xx
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Old June 17th, 2014, 15:49
hazelharris hazelharris is offline
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hi coopergirl you are definitely not selfish wanting help from someone who understands what you are going through i have found there are people who try to help and those who avoid talking to you because they just don't know what to say and all we need really is someone who will sit with us a while listen and give a comforting hug to show they care .No one fully understands unless they have been through the same as you but perhaps they are bringing their problems to you thinking it;s helping by getting your mind off your own loss on to sorting out other issues but grief isn't like that we have to deal with all these emotions of our sadness and that needs time care and love from others you have to say no to them tell them all for the moment you can't offer your help as you are grieving for your mum your finding it hard to cope and all your energy has to be on getting through the days Your boyfriend sounds very young and im sorry he has gone through some dreadful times himself but he has to understand everyone is different in how they cope and how long it takes to get some normality back a daughter losing her mum is devastating it.s going to take you some time to accept your loss and learn to cope not everyone find councilors have the answers you have to find what help is best for you As a mum myself i know i would pray more than anything my children would find happiness in their lives after my passing i bought them up to be happy and so i know your mum would feel the same every time you think of a wonderful memory from the past and smile it's a gift to her if you sit and write her a letter talk to her some say they can hear us it may help you remember her love will always be with you nothing can ever break that bond between mother and daughter it binds you together for eternity Thinking of you and a hug to say i do care xxxx
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