My sister

[foreveryoung]

My beautiful younger sister died on the 14th August 2004. She was only 25. She died suddenly of a brain aneurysm - there was no warning, no goodbyes.

I have been trying to deal with this all by myself for the last 4 years. I thought I was doing so well. But recently it has been on my mind - I can't seem to stop thinking about her. (Not that I ever stopped - but I don't know - this is different) I spent the first year after she was gone being the strong one in my family - taking care of my parents and brother and sister - I was the eldest child, so it was my responsibility. Then I forced my self not to think about it.

I've tried to move on. But its not working - I feel like I'm going backwards instead of forwards. I still feel like it only happened yesterday.

[Dancer]

foreveryoung,

Welcome to the board. I'm so sorry for your loss.

[dseek]

It has only been a week, and it has been almost unbearable. My beautiful big sister, Michelle, was only 45 years old. She was always happy, always smiling. Not only was she my big sister, is my only sister. She died of the swine flu and pneumonia, and we live in the US and she was in one of the best hospitals in the country and that is the part that I just can't understand.
The ache that I have in my chest feels like an elephant standing on me. My emotions are completely out of control, one minute I am screaming mad and the next I crumple to the floor sobbing. I have a family, I have a child and our mother lives with me so I am trying to balance everything and everyone and on the outside I look fine most of the time but inside the war is raging. When I see these posts saying, I lost someone 10-12 years ago and the hurt is still just as bad it fills me with hopelessness and despair.