Help, I am in a web of grief and can find no way out.

[White Mountain]

Yes...I need to move forward and I give myself lectures everday...however, I just can't go. Yes, it is crazy: I have always been a strong person and tend to look on the bright side of things. The past year has nearly destroyed me.

In 2012 it seemed that every month was filled with a family death or crisis. By mid-summer I began to suffer depression and failing health, had 2 surgeries and was finally... not able to keep working I gave up my job and benefits, this was also a great loss.

I feel lost...angry...bewildered...afraid...anxious...sad . I am not able to move on and I cannot talk myself into doing anything. I do not want to see anyone...I want to hang out a sign that says Go Away...I do not answer the phone except for the children & grands. My husband is patient. He no longer inquires if I am going to get off the sofa...dress...or go out. He accepts that I cannot and that is a relief. I just don't know what to do...or where to start. What works? Yes, I have read the books and prayed...now what?

[gumek]

Originally Posted by White Mountain

Yes...I need to move forward and I give myself lectures everday...however, I just can't go. Yes, it is crazy: I have always been a strong person and tend to look on the bright side of things. The past year has nearly destroyed me.

In 2012 it seemed that every month was filled with a family death or crisis. By mid-summer I began to suffer depression and failing health, had 2 surgeries and was finally... not able to keep working I gave up my job and benefits, this was also a great loss.

I feel lost...angry...bewildered...afraid...anxious...sad . I am not able to move on and I cannot talk myself into doing anything. I do not want to see anyone...I want to hang out a sign that says Go Away...I do not answer the phone except for the children & grands. My husband is patient. He no longer inquires if I am going to get off the sofa...dress...or go out. He accepts that I cannot and that is a relief. I just don't know what to do...or where to start. What works? Yes, I have read the books and prayed...now what?

hello dear white mountain, we offer a welcome to you on forum, will private message you asap, please hold on in there, you will be supported here by our forum friends, i will be intiuch soon.

chrissie. xx

[hazelharris]

hi my friend i am so sorry to hear of your depression no one choses to get depressed its a state that descends on us through many issues heartbreaking events that we try to cope with in our lives
its hard to accept the love of friends and family when we have lost our way in loving ourselves but you do have so much in your life with their help the sun will shine again for you because you are loved
try to push yourself to do very small tasks take your time accept these days will be tough on you it takes a lot of strength and courage to start doing things again don't expect too much to start with but gradually the small things you do will all come together
we all suffer different degrees of depression when we have lost loved ones being ill and losing your job as well has made it very hard for you we get thrown down rock bottom so quickly and it takes a long time to climb out into the light again when you recover and please believe you will you will look back on it all with more love strength and compassion of a survivor
a pearl is a beautiful thing that is produced by an injured life it is the tear that results from the injury of the oyster. The treasure of our being in the world is also produced by an injured life if we had not been wounded if we had not been injured then we will not produce the pearl
thinking of you in your sadness we are all here for you when you need us
love hazelxx