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Old September 9th, 2007, 10:40
luciestorrs luciestorrs is offline
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 137
Default Advice for grieving children

Some helpful words by the Child Bereavement Trust:

What is OK
  • To cry and feel low and depressed
  • To feel angry, embarrassed and not want to talk about your feelings
  • To copy some of the activities your loved one had before they died, but you need to retain your own life too
  • 'Live in the past' for a while. It can help you to keep alive the memory of your parent, your brother or sister, for example, but try not to let life pass you by
  • Have fun and enjoy life, to laugh again and forget for a while, forgive yourself for the fights and arguments and nasty things you might have said to your loved one who died
  • Go on living
What's not OK
  • To use drugs or excessive alcohol to dull your senses. This can only act as an escape and hide the pain, not helping to heal it, and it will then take longer to accept the hurt
  • Act out your frustration with reckless driving or skipping school
  • Do things with your anger that can hurt other people because you are hurting yourself
  • Experiment casually with s*x, just to get close to someone
  • Hide your feelings and not talk about what is bothering you
  • Act as the scapegoat or bad guy to appear tough
Any thoughts or experiences? Please post them here!
Lucie Storrs, creator of

Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep: over 250 funeral poems, quotes and readings
If There's Anything I Can Do...: full of practical ways to help the bereaved
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Old September 12th, 2007, 18:57
Calypso Calypso is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Midwest
Posts: 205

This is great advice for kids and teens! I especially like the part about it being okay to go on with your own life. So many kids feel like they're somehow letting their loved one down if they have fun or enjoy themselves.
Writers and readers are welcome at
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Old September 15th, 2007, 09:22
Priscilla Priscilla is offline
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 92

That's a very good post. I think if you know some kids that are greiving, just to copy in out and leave it somewhere they will find it would be a good idea. Kids need to learn how to greive in their own way, just like adults.
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Old December 20th, 2007, 14:31
flowerchilde flowerchilde is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: midwest, USA
Posts: 16
Default helping children who are grieving

That is a very good article. I'm going to copy and paste it into my computer documents (and my will documents)! My grand daughter is so sensitive and sometimes just doesn't know how to deal with her feelings, and if something should happen to someone close to her, these guidelines would be very helpful.
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Old December 28th, 2007, 13:56
Jewel Jewel is offline
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 45

There are some good tips here to help when discussing how to grieve with children and teens. The only thing missing is how to discuss this with your kids.
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