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Old February 5th, 2011, 21:18
yourlittleangel yourlittleangel is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 1
Unhappy I need help..im lost..

It has been exactly 57 days since I lost my Pap. He was stubborn and kind. He could always figure something out with out instructions and he would never give up.
I was at my best friends house getting ready to go out with some friends when i got a call from my mom. She was crying. She told me to pack my things, and that my pap just died...It broke my heart, Completely shattered. He lost his battle with cancer. He was going through both radiation and chemo. He stopped Chemo because it kept making him sick. When we got the news that his tumor went from stage 3 to stage 2 I had a huge sign of relief. I thought to myself thank god he is going to be okay. But I was wrong...
Its funny that day before my mom called i started feeling a huge empty space in my heart now I know why. That huge piece will always be empty and theres nothing I can do about it...
I didnt see him much or get to spend time with him because we live in a different state. I didnt get to say goodbye...My mom just talked to him before he died...
I have a major problem though...I feel so lost...I dont know what to do. I've looked through so many websites on how to cope but none of them work...
I just cant accept him being gone...you know its just not possible to me...
Im soo much like him too...I get my stubborness from him. I love him soo much..It just kills me knowing he wont be there when I go back...I feel like I disappointed him too..All my cousins and brother gave him great grandchildren...And i didnt...All my cousins and brother learned how to swim from him....and again I didnt...
Help me?
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