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Old March 27th, 2013, 19:25
cal821 cal821 is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 477
Default "Moving Towards the Surface... Coming Up For Air and Understanding"

In this Life: Not one lesson in how to go on living after a loss is ever given in advance. We… all are never truly prepared to walk this lonely walk in Grief and Mourning. Experiencing this horrific fact of loss and sorrow teaches us. Brutally… Savagely… & Harshly… It tears us from our innocence. but like it or not it is a gift..
The dictionary defines grief as keen mental suffering or
distress over affliction or loss.
It’s a Sharp sorrow… and painful regret.

As we grow and learn in this life we're taught to learn from and
rely on books, on definitions, on definitive.
But in life, strict definitions rarely apply. When it comes to Grief we have to learn it firsthand… Also In life, grief can look like a lot of things that bare little
resemblance to sharp sorrow. The mind numbness, heavy & coarse blanket that befalls us smothers us in its own weight… Stunned ....our faculties desperately search for some semblance of order and balance… Yet there is none to be found
Grief may be a thing we all have in common,
but it looks different on everyone. It isn't just death we have to grieve, it's life, it's loss,
it's change..
And when we wonder why it has to suck so much sometimes,
has to hurt so bad, the thing we have to try to remember is
that it can turn on a dime. That’s how you stay alive. When it hurts so much you can't
breathe. That's how you survive it...
By remembering that one day, somehow, impossibly, you
won't feel this way. It won't hurt this much...
Grief comes in its own time for everyone.
In its own way...
So the best we can do, best anyone can do, is try
for honesty… and not get caught up in the semantics of it all..
The really crappy thing, the very worst part of grief,
is that you can't control it.
The best we can do is try to let ourselves feel it, when
it comes...And let it go when we can...
The very worst part is that the minute you think you're
past it; it starts all over again...And always, every time, it takes your breath away...but you know this right?

According to Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, when we are dying or have
suffered a catastrophic loss, we move through five distinct
stages of grief.
We go into denial.
Because the loss is so unthinkable.
We can't imagine it's true.
We become angry with everyone.
Angry with survivors, angry with ourselves.
Then we bargain.
We beg, we plead, we offer everything we have,
we offer up our souls in exchange for just one more day.
When the bargaining has failed and the anger is just too
hard to maintain, we fall into depression, despair.
Until finally we have to accept that we have done
everything we can.
We let go. We let go and move into acceptance.
At some point it is going to be a time to crawl out of the pit and move toward the light.. This is your choice.. You have been given a true gift which you may now share to help others. Like it or not... You Were Chosen to stay behind for a reason... Your experience is what will help others and move you forward in this life..

With that being said I thought I would mention something that you may choose to think over.. God has given you the tools to help yourself
In this life there are many truths we take for granted… Here are three that are keys for us to understand.


Peace isn't a permanent state.
It exists in moments. Fleeting; gone before we even knew it was there.
We can experience it at any time; in a stranger’s
act of kindness. A task that requires complete focus.
Or simply the comfort of an old routine.
Everyday… we all experience these moments
of peace. Even in our sorrow…
The trick is to know when they're happening.
So that we can embrace them, live in them...
and finally let them go.

Paying Kindness forward in your loss…

Every day… we that have been left behind and given the gift of life. Have a choice to pay our knowledge and gift forward.. Being left behind... alone.. struggling .. we are still searching for answers. Our new life has many new changes to adapt to..
It can be painful. It can be terrifying. But in the end,
it's worth it; Every time. We all have the opportunity
to give. Maybe the gifts are not as dramatic and bring in us in the Limelight... Maybe the gift is to make someone smile or Just Listening…. Bringing cheer to someone in desperate need, a laugh or the ability of letting them cry with you...
Maybe it's to understand another person’s point of view.
Maybe it's to hold a secret for a friend. Or passing on a pearl of Wisdom that has been learned at a great cost in your Life…. We should never underestimate the power of paying forward our Love, Compassion, & Understanding to others that are now new to the same path.
Small gestures of this kindness bring upon you an ability to think outside of the pain and misery that has befallen you in your life. They will bring you your own freedom as they are the key to rebuilding your own life …

Spreading forth Dynamic compassion

It is an open-hearted active response of respect, service, and care for those in need. It is the appropriate human response to understanding the interdependence and mutual welfare of all beings. The manifestation of God's love and mercy. It is the way God interacts with creation and is, therefore, the way people should interact with one another. It is a tool that God has given us to help heal ourselves…. Using it brings us closer to our own understanding of meaning and purpose of events in our lives. This is a tool we all need to use to end our journey of our own sorrow, suffering, pain and loss… It’s free... Doesn’t take much effort... And will not do anything but help you and others. Are you up to the challenge?
Try a random act of Kindness .. pick a stranger and do something nice for them.. It doesn't have to be something big.. buying them a cup of coffee or tea for no reason. Other than you wanted to... That's one way to start the contagion Compassion is.. It's very addictive once you start looking past a small gesture of kindness can bring some happiness to someone..

I want to thank you and tell you I appreciate you reading my thoughts…
As always I wish you peace and a level path in your journey.

Memory can only tell us what we were,
in the company of those we loved;
it cannot help us find what each of us, alone, must now become.
Yet no person is really alone;
those who live no more echo still within our thoughts and words,
and what they did has become woven into what we are.

I wish you peace and a level path on your journey...


Last edited by cal821 : March 28th, 2013 at 11:35.
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