" A possible suggestion to help you heal"

[cal821]

I have been thinking about suggesting a tradition here that may help you who want to help yourselves... There is a very old tradition that goes back to my ancestors time in Italy when the loved ones memory is celebrated weekly on Friday evenings.. The tradition goes as such -- Prior to sitting down to dinner at your kitchen table.. Take a White Wax Candle and place it in the center of the table far away from anything flammable such as center pieces or such.. Light the Candle and close your eyes and imagine your loved one there with you in your heart and mind... Imagine sending them your love wholeheartedly......... This not meant to be a sad occasion or to Elicit pain and misery... It is just a simple act re-inforcing our bond with our loved ones.. If there are tears when your light the candle that is okay .. tears themselves are cleansing and also show us just how much we cared for our loved one.. Just allow the memories or the feelings to wash over you... Just be with your thoughts during that time.. Just try to experience them don't stiffle them....

The basic premise is "Healing Through Ritual.”as Rituals can serve as a way of helping with the weekly stress of life and seperation from our loved ones. Candle lighting is one of the simplest and easiest rituals to create.... and
Lighting a candle to honor the memory of the loved or with a special intention or prayer can be a simple, but very meaningful way of remembering. It doesn't have to be only on holidays, anniversaries or celebrations... The weekly act of acknowledging their presence spiritually and in your heart... will help you heal also as a small way of Cathartic release..


This weekly tradition may not work for those newly bereaved as their emotions are still too raw for this .. But for those of you who would like to start helping yourself a little bit at a time.. The suggestion may work for you as it will help you work with your acceptance and understanding of your new life now.... on tiny step at a time..


Please also don't leave the candle burning unattended and always blow it out after you are finished your meal...Please exercise caution with open flames... Sorry.... I know I sound like an old nag... but I wish only healing for everyone not to have anyone come to harm..


As Always I wish you peace and a steady path in this painful journey we are all on..


Cal821

[hazelharris]

hi dave thats a beautiful and lovely idea i haven,t heard of that before and i,m going to start doing it tomorrow i had to laugh sorry i could tell you thought we may burn the house down with our widows brain it is a distinct possibility
can you imagine coming on here next week and saying had a fire in the kitchen due to the candle sorry i know this is serious but it found my sense of humour and your warnings has really made me laugh but i do appreciate your concern
i will let you know in a few weeks time if it helps me i am sure it will i do light one next to darrens photo occasionaly but it's red and i did accidentaly leave it burning all night once i will buy a white one tomorrow on my way to work thanks for letting us know of this tradition
i have just heard from chrissie tom said the operation on amie was a sucess all our prayers have been answered for her thanks be to God
love hazelxx

[hazelharris]

hi dave i now think your psychic i went to work this morning and realised i had left the candle burning i had lit yesterday for amie i had left it in the kitchen of all places i find that very uncanny i'm glad i didn't burn the building down have you had any premonitions before love hazelxx

[sdk]

Hi Cal,

It is has been a long time. How is your family? Your suggestion for lighting a candle sounds like something I am going to try. In the jewish religion we light candles for thinking and remembering our loved ones. When a loved one dies we light a candle right after the funeral that burns for 7 days. On the 1st anniversary of the death we light a candle that lasts for 24 hours and say prayers. I say a prayer at night that I think some of us might say when we light a candle the way you suggest.

A Memorial Prayer
I haven't forgotten you, evn though it's been
some time now since I've seen your face,
touched your hand, heard your voice. You are with me all the time.
I used to think you left me. I know better now. You come to me.
Sometimes in fleeting moments I feel your presence close by. But
I miss you. And nothing, no person, no joy, no accomplishment, no
distraction, can fill the gapping hole your absence has left in my life.

But mixed together with all my sadness, there is a great joy for having known you. I want to thank you for the time we shared, for the love you
gave, for the wisdom you spread.

Your life has ended, but your light can never be extinguished. It continues
to shine upon me ven on the darkest nights and illuminates my way.

I light this candle in your honor and in your memory.
May God bless you as you have blessed me with love, with grace, and
with peace. Amen.

Love and hugs,
Sheryl

[hazelharris]

hi sheryl the prayer is beautiful i am writing it down wether i will be able to say it without crying is another matter but i will try it's very moving the tears won't matter as no prayer can be said without emotion it gives it all more meaning
thankyou sheryl and dave for this love hazelxxx

[gumek]

shalom sheryl, what a beautiful prayer, it connects so well with the old italian tradition of lighting a candle for lost loved ones. it is so lovely the way different people of different cultures, no matter how different, we all need to know that our loves are still near us in spirit at least and that our love never dies. i wonder if all of us have found that we love our loves even more, i think that i do love my giuliano more and more, so d all of us and there love for us is so strong and alive, don't you think love? bless you darling for sharing this beautiful prayer and adding even more to cals thoughts. thank you both.


love hugs

chrissie. xxx

[gumek]

shalom sheryl, what a beautiful prayer, it connects so well with the old italian tradition of lighting a candle for lost loved ones. it is so lovely the way different people of different cultures, no matter how different, we all need to know that our loves are still near us in spirit at least and that our love never dies. i wonder if all of us have found that we love our loves even more, i think that i do love my giuliano more and more, so d all of us and there love for us is so strong and alive, don't you think love? bless you darling for sharing this beautiful prayer and adding even more to cals thoughts. thank you both.


love hugs

chrissie. xxx