" Just Life" Learning to Lose
Just some of my rambling thoughts... about life and some maybe forgotten important keys in the road to recovery...
It is difficult to be in the stands during a game when the score is close. Nail biting begins, hearts begin to race, palms begin to sweat; sitting anxiously I await the outcome. It is even worse if one of my children happens to be on the team.
My oldest daughter Lauren's Elementary school basket-ball team advanced to the finals this season. As the game went into its first overtime, I began biting my nails. When the second overtime clock began ticking; my heart began to race. But when the game went into triple overtime, I thought I was going to have to be removed by stretcher. At the end of the game we were left heartbroken; the girls lost by two points. Following the ceremonial, congratulatory team handshake the girls walked off the court, disappointed.
I wanted the basket-ball team to win that game, but not as much as Lauren. She could smell victory. It was right there for the taking, but in the last seconds it slipped away. For the first time, I saw 12 year old girls, who I had known since kindergarten, in tears. Loss is hard!
On the way out of the gymnasium, a grandfather of one of the players stopped me. He said, “I know sports is beneficial for these girls. They learn teamwork and perseverance, but most of all, sports teaches kids how to lose.”
I had Known this myself from years of sports I played in my youth but it jarred my memory to light with this important rule.... As parents, we instinctively hope our children never have to deal with great disappointment, yet in our gut we know they must. It seems that children who are “rescued” from heartbreak and loss tend to “crash and burn” at the first sign of disappointment.
Imagining that the ride home with Lauren would be difficult, I began preparing my Fatherly pep talk which surely would change her disappointed affectation. I couldn't have been more mistaken. Instead, with head held high she jumped into the truck, promptly announcing, “We have nothing to be ashamed of. We played a great game.”
I know that living through the small disappointments in life, gives way to developing the resilience needed to deal with huge ones. Strength and confidence comes not only from victories, but from knowing you can handle defeat. Perhaps true victory occurs when we experience loss and still are able to hold our head high and move on.
When Tammy died, my greatest fear was that my kids would be broken, but life had already taught them loss and disappointment. Though perhaps smaller in measure, the lessons were real nonetheless. When we are faced with adversity, heartbreak, disappointment or loss, victory is often found in the lessons learned.
Thank you for taking time to read my rambling thoughts..
As always I wish you peace...
Cal821( Dave )
Memory can only tell us what we were,
in the company of those we loved;
it cannot help us find what each of us, alone, must now become.
Yet no person is really alone;
those who live no more echo still within our thoughts and words,
and what they did has become woven into what we are.
I wish you peace and a level path on your journey...
Last edited by cal821 : March 13th, 2013 at 08:36.
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