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Old September 26th, 2015, 14:58
cal821 cal821 is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 477
Default "10 Stages of Grieving"


Thought I would post a quick article link I had read many years back. This may be beneficial for those of you new here on the forums.
Please feel free to read on if you wish. This is not meant in anyway a linear time line that grief follows. It just is meant to give some direction on what you may be experiencing at this time, and So as grief is Subjective with everyone it touches. Everyone may experience things at different times, orders and a frequencies as it flows through your Dark time of your loved ones passing. It just goes a little further than the Elizabeth Kubler Ross theory of grief.

Condensed from “Grieving and Wellness” by Myrna Grandgenett, PhD

The stages of grieving have been described by many people. Although there is no one “right” way to grieve, ten stages can be identified. Remember, grieving is highly individualized. No two persons will grieve in the same way or for the same amount of time. The important thing to remember is that grief is a natural, necessary result of losing something or someone important.

Stage 1: SHOCK AND DENIAL. The pain is too great to be handled. Temporarily the system “overheats” and reality is blocked out. “This can’t be happening.”

Stage 2: EMOTIONS ERUPT. The shock passes and emotions overflow their usual boundaries. They are expressed in ways ranging from wrenching sobs to gentle tears. Logic and rationality give way to an overwhelming realization of the loss.

Stage 3: ANGER. After being hurt, most people feel angry. They want to retaliate, to inflict pain on others, to strike out at the person or thing causing the pain.

Stage 4: SICKNESS. Often the body acts out the pain being felt through actual physical symptoms. Nausea, headaches, diarrhea, extreme fatigue are common.

Stage 5: PANIC. After a time of sickness and emotional upset, people begin to realize that they aren’t acting like themselves anymore. They begin to worry, wondering if they have become mentally ill. They frequently ask themselves “What is happening to me?”

Stage 6: GUILT. Personal guilt feelings build up as people wonder whether they are somehow to blame for the loss. They ask themselves if they could have done something to make it different if only . . .

Stage 7: DEPRESSION AND LONELINESS. The pain of their loss often causes people to withdraw into themselves. They begin to realize that the change is permanent. As the depression deepens, friends and family find it harder to draw the person out, to talk them into participating in regular activities again.

Stage 8: RE-ENTRY TROUBLES. Once the effort is made to get back into the normal routine, the pain of loss makes it difficult to be as trusting and open as before the loss. Suspicion must be battled constantly. Friends and families are tested again and again.

Stage 9: HOPE EMERGES. Gradually, the pain subsides and the world becomes bearable again. Hope sneaks through the cracks in the walls built up as protection against hurt. Energy is regained. The process of rebuilding seems possible.

Stage 10: ACCEPTING AND AFFIRMING REALITY. The loss is accepted without bitterness. Death gives way to new life. Purpose is regained. A new, different reality is where life is to be lived.

As always I wish you peace for your shattered heart and a level path in your new journey of loss and recovery.

Memory can only tell us what we were,
in the company of those we loved;
it cannot help us find what each of us, alone, must now become.
Yet no person is really alone;
those who live no more echo still within our thoughts and words,
and what they did has become woven into what we are.

I wish you peace and a level path on your journey...

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